This whole thing is just a charade. I just cried again, for two whole hours. This time I don't even know the reason why. Perhaps there's just too many reasons.
I kept stopping myself. But the moment I lay back and closed my eyes everything just comes back. Every bit of effort I put in to stop just proved useless. I'm so tired now I don't even dare go back to sleep.
I'm just so afraid of affecting Jy again.
I know my limits, I know where I stand.
Everytime I'm feeling down, I know the solution's just a phonecall away. But I can't possibly rely on someone everytime it happens, it's way too frequent. And I really see the need, for going through this myself. For one day, what am I going to do, if that someone goes away?
Someone that knows my deepest fear even I wouldn't let my parents know. Someone who always lifts the load off my shoulders no matter whether my problem's solved. Someone who always makes me feel happier. Someone who teaches me to treasure life. But I don't want to relate that someone with all my sadness.
Someday, I hope you'll hear nothing but good news about me. I promise. One day I'll bring back my smiles, my life, my everything once again. But I just don't know when.
I know I used to be real strong. I used to fight for everything I wanted. But now, I'm don't even have a tenth of that fighting spirit in me.
'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore I've forgotten what I started fighting for